Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
