if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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