So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
