i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
