I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
