my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
