I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
