I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
