How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
