What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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