Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
