we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
