I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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