Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Boobs speak an international language.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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