he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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