I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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