There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
