I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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