If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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