Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
a search helicopter?!
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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