NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
