it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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