I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
