I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
