Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
