You just made me feel so damn special
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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