Duck Duck Cougar?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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