My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
this is an emotional support booty call
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
