I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
