we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Are we still banned from the library?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
