just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
