Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
sex in a hospital.. check
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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