Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
