I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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