We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
