through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
