I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
