hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
