was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
