I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
