belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
