well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize