Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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