Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
