im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
