some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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