2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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