So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
