if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Send help, water and tortillas.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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