it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
