Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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