There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
