I can't watch pbs sober anymore
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Randomize
