I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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