Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
