guys are only as good as the porn they watch
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
