You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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