Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
