party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
