I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
