Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
