Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
