I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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